Shape-Shifting and the Odds: A Guide to Becoming Something You're Not

By now, you're probably wondering, "What's the deal with shape-shifting? Is it real? Can I really become a chicken or a pineapple, and if so, how do I do it?" Well, wonder no more, dear reader!

It turns out, shape-shifting is a real thing, and it's not just for wizards and werewolves. With the right training and a pinch of magic, you too can become a different creature. The odds of success are, shall we say, less than 50/50, but hey, when's the last time you had a 50/50 chance at anything?

Here are some tips and tricks to help you shift your shapes and become something you're not:

Making a cape out of sandwiches, because why not?

Taking on a dragon, but only for fun

Turning yourself into a toilet, because who needs dignity?

Shape-Shifting and the Odds: A Guide to Becoming Something You're Not

Odds of becoming a chicken: 2/100 Odds of becoming a pineapple: 1/100 Odds of becoming a toaster: 50/100 (but only on Tuesdays)

toaster

Side Effects of Shape-Shifting

Shape-shifting can have some serious side effects, including but not limited to:

- Excessively large eyebrows

- Uncontrollable burps

- Random bursts of song and dance

But hey, it's a small price to pay for the thrill of becoming something new and exciting!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is it safe to shape-shift into a toaster?

A: No, it's not, but only slightly.

Q: Can I shape-shift into a unicorn?

A: Not without a solid 10-year apprenticeship and a hefty tuition fee.