Short-Selling Bankruptcy: Because Who Needs Savings, Anyway?

Welcome to the most exciting, thrilling, and utterly disastrous financial institution in town! Here's where you can bet your future against your future.

We offer a variety of short-selling options, all guaranteed to leave you bankrupt in 5, 10, or 15 years, depending on your investment choices.

Our top-tier investment advisors will guide you through the thrilling world of short-selling, where you can bet against the market, against yourself, and against the very fabric of reality!

Don't believe us? Check out our Bankruptcy Statistics page for a thrilling look at the numbers!

Or, for a sneak peek at our Financial Funhouse where you can play with fire and risk losing it all!

We are not responsible for your financial ruin. You're a grown adult. Sort of. Kind of.

Brought to you by the Short-Selling Bankruptcy Corporation, where the only thing we take seriously is the seriousness of your financial situation.
Financial Woes Short-Selling 101 Our Guarantee (Or Lack Thereof)