Solutions to the World's Most Elusive Shortages

1. Sock Puppet Therapy

Because sometimes you just need to talk to someone who's not judgmental, but also not very smart.

2. Time Traveler's Discount Coupons

Save 10% on last year's prices! Because who needs a functioning economy, anyway?

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3. AI-Generated Sarcasm Generator

Because who needs actual friends when you have a robot that can tell you you're doing it wrong?