MAPLE SYRUP SHORTAGE OF 2023: THE CANADIAN CRISIS

It's official: 2023 is shaping up to be the year when Canadians will be forced to drink actual water instead of their beloved maple syrup.

The effects of the shortage are being felt across the Great White North, where once-thriving pancake houses now stand empty, like the ghosts of syrup-fueled breakfast dreams.

But fear not, dear Canadians! We've got the scoop on the top 5 effects of the shortage:

• 1. Pancake Desolation: Without syrup, pancake sales are plummeting. Breakfast is a barren wasteland.
• 2. Bacon Outrage: The absence of syrup is causing a rash of protests outside Tim Hortons, where once-peaceful citizens now clash over last season's stock.
• 3. French Embarrassment: Quebecois dignitaries are too ashamed to admit their own syrup-deprived breakfasts, leading to a national crisis of pride.
• 4. Waffle Woes
• 5. Bagel Betrayal: