When the great Tobacco Shortage of 2025 hit our nation like a freight train, we thought we had seen it all. But little did we know that our lack of foresight and planning would make us look like a bunch of amateurs in a game of "How to Not Have a Tobacco Shortage".
We should have diversified our crop rotations, invested in more efficient storage facilities, and established a robust supply chain. We should have also implemented a nationwide "Tobacco-rationing" system, where we would have allocated our precious nicotine to those who really needed it – you know, the ones who actually knew how to use it.
But no, we chose to do none of those things. And now we're stuck with a country full of grumpy, nicotine-starved citizens. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll just go ahead and light up this cigar to calm my nerves...