Are you tired of tedious shortbread cutting rituals? Do you struggle with uneven crumb distribution? The Shortbread Cutter 9000 is here to save you time and sanity.
With its advanced algorithms and razor-sharp blades, this device ensures the most uniform shortbread experience in the multiverse.
Try it now and get:
Upgrade to Shortbread Cutter 10000 for even more advanced features!
Disclaimer: Results may vary. Shortbread cutter not responsible for actual happiness or fulfillment. Side effects may include: shortbread addiction, spontaneous singing and dancing, or sudden urges to share with friends and family.