Side Effects: Precautions

Warning: Side effects of consuming excessive amounts of our product have been reported to include:

Common Side Effects:

• Increased risk of spontaneous human combustion during intense staring contests
• Temporary loss of ability to tell apart from a sentient piece of furniture
• Irreversible damage to your sense of irony

Less Common Side Effects:

• Spontaneous combustion of nearby objects while trying to reorganize your sock drawer
• Uncontrollable urge to start a conga line during meetings
• Development of a strong affinity for 80s pop music

Side Effects That We're Not Really Sure About:

• The possibility of turning into a human-sized hamster during leap year
• Spontaneous transformation into a sentient, walking pineapple (results not guaranteed)
• A sudden and unexplained love for the color plaid

Learn more about contraindications

View our comprehensive side effects database