Side Effects: Precautions
Warning: Side effects of consuming excessive amounts of our product have been reported to include:
Common Side Effects:
- Increased risk of spontaneous human combustion during intense staring contests
- Temporary loss of ability to tell apart from a sentient piece of furniture
- Irreversible damage to your sense of irony
Less Common Side Effects:
- Spontaneous combustion of nearby objects while trying to reorganize your sock drawer
- Uncontrollable urge to start a conga line during meetings
- Development of a strong affinity for 80s pop music
Side Effects That We're Not Really Sure About:
- The possibility of turning into a human-sized hamster during leap year
- Spontaneous transformation into a sentient, walking pineapple (results not guaranteed)
- A sudden and unexplained love for the color plaid
Learn more about contraindications
View our comprehensive side effects database