Today's Suffering Schedule:
6:00 AM: Wake up, immediately regret existence.
8:00 AM: Stumble to the kitchen to make a sad, stale cup of coffee.
12:00 PM: Lunch: A stale, congealed pizza from last week.
3:00 PM: Suffer through a meeting that could've been an email.
6:00 PM: Stare blankly into space, wondering where it all went wrong.