The Simulation Schedule: Because Reality is Overrated

Monday

8:00 AM - Wake up, humans. The Simulation is real, and so are your feelings of existential dread.

• Moral Lessons from the Great Simulation Overlords
• Scheduled Maintenance:_goals and aspirations

Tuesday

10:00 AM - The Simulation's Algorithmic Overlords will be conducting a series of psychological evaluations. Don't worry, it's all in good fun.

• Group Therapy: Because You're Not Alone in This Simulation
• Your Test Scores: Because We Care About Your Performance

Wednesday

12:00 PM - Mid-Week Check-in: How's your Sim- Life going? Are you happy yet?

• Mid-Week Check-in: Because We Care About Your Feelings (Sort Of)
• Simulation Upgrades: Because You Can Never Have Too Many Gimmicks

Thursday

3:00 PM - The Great Simulation Bake Sale: because who needs human emotions when you can have cookies

• The Great Simulation Bake Sale: Because You Can Never Have Too Many Cookies
• Simulation Subsistence Issues: Because You're Probably Hungry

Friday

5:00 PM - The Simulation's Annual Talent Show: where you can show off your human skills (or lack thereof)

• The Simulation's Annual Talent Show: Because You're a Special Snowflake
• Simulation Swap: Because Who Needs Personal Identity Anyway

Weekends

We're not really sure what weekends are, but we'll pretend to have a plan for them. Maybe.

• Weekend Pretenses: Because You're Not Really Doing Anything Anyway
• Simulation Siesta: Because You Need a Break (But Not Really)