Defensively lazy is not just about doing the bare minimum, it's about doing it with purpose, with a healthy dose of eye-rolling and door-slamming. It's about being the loudest, most obnoxious, yet most effective couch potato you can be.
It's a delicate balance of doing just enough work to avoid getting fired, yet doing just enough nothing to avoid getting married.
Here are some essential tips for achieving this delicate balance: