Rule 1: Snack portions must be precisely 3:14 inches square, or 1:1.5 if you're feeling fancy.
Rule 2: No one, and we mean no one, may use more than 3.5 grams of artisanal cheese per serving.
Rule 3: Snack protocol requires at least 4 different types of crackers per snack platter.
Need more information?
Remember, Snack Connoisseurs: a snack is not a snack without a protocol.