Our process begins with the unbridled enthusiasm of our production team. We take a 50-pound bag of peanuts, and we just... let it rip.
Warning: This step may involve significant peanut dust.
Peanuting is the unsung hero of our process. We take 100 gallons of peanut oil and just... we just... add more peanut oil.
Warning: This step may leave you questioning the fabric of space and time.
We take the peanuted mess and roast it to a temperature of precisely 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Or, you know, until it's done.
This step may involve a deep sense of existential dread.
We combine the roasted peanuts with a pinch of salt, a dash of sugar, and a whole lot of regret.
Step 5: Final FormulationWe mix, we stir, we hope for the best. And then... we serve.
Step 6: Taste Test TerminationOur team of highly trained experts taste each and every batch, and if it's not good, we just... start over.
The EndAnd that's it. That's the entire process. If you're still awake, congratulations.
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