Answer: Sneakernation is a secretive underground movement of highly trained, highly caffeinated individuals who infiltrate and optimize every mundane aspect of your life.
Q: How do I join the resistance?
Answer: Fill out our 37-page application, pass our rigorous 4-hour interview, and sign our lifetime contract. Don't worry, it's not like we're going to read that contract again.
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Disclaimer: Sneakernation not responsible for excessive sweating, lost socks, or spontaneous combustion.