Standard Model 5000

The Standard Model 5000: because your sundial game is strong, but your timekeeping game is weak.

Get your hands on this sleek, over-engineered timepiece and never be late again. Or, you know, whenever you want to be.

Features:

• Four separate dials for seconds, minutes, hours, and "is it lunchtime yet?"
• Tactile feedback for when it's time to leave the house
• Built-in coffee mug holder for maximum productivity

Upgrade to the Chrono-Keeper for an additional layer of complexity

Get a larger face for the ultimate in time-telling indulgence