Social Mandates

Because who needs actual social norms when you can have mandates?

Rules of Engagement Forced Friendliness Mandatory Manners Silicon Valley Snobbery Mandatory Meme-ing

Rules of Engagement

Rule 1: You must wear a name tag at all times.
Rule 2: You must use the correct amount of eye contact.
Rule 3: You must never, ever, ever use the phrase 'I'm fine.'

Clarifications and Exceptions Penalties for Non-Compliance

Forced Friendliness

Because who needs genuine relationships when you can just fake it 'til you make it?

Step 1: Smile and pretend to like everything.

Step 2: Find common ground with your 'friend'.

Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you've reached maximum friendliness levels.

Advanced Friendliness Tutorials Levels of Friendliness

Mandatory Manners

Rule 1: Hold the door for the person with the most Instagram followers.
Rule 2: Use the correct utensils when eating at a dinner party.
Rule 3: Never, ever speak the truth.

Etiquette Exceptions Penalties for Impoliteness

Silicon Valley Snobbery

Because who needs actual talent when you can just have a 'side hustle'?

Side Hustle 1: Pretend to be interested in your roommate's startup.

Side Hustle 2: Find a 'passion project' and monetize it.

Side Hustle 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you've reached peak snobbery.

Advanced Side Hustling Tutorials Levels of Snobbery

Mandatory Meme-ing

Rule 1: Use only the most basic of memes.
Rule 2: Repeat the same meme for at least 3 hours straight.
Rule 3: Never, ever, ever use a meme that requires actual creativity.

Meme Hoarding Penalties for Boring Meme-ing