sock-based self-defense 101

Warning: The following techniques are highly effective, but may cause excessive sweating, toe jamming, and irreversible damage to your social life.

The Sock-Slippin' Defense

Quickly slip on a sock, preferably a brightly colored one, to distract your attacker and create an opening for escape.

Master the Sock-Slingshot Technique for maximum effect.

The Sock-Swirling Technique

Swirl a sock around your body to create a whirlwind of confusing, disorienting movement.

Learn to Swirl Like a Pro.