Warning: Do not attempt to stretch your socks in any way that may cause damage or discomfort to your feet. Or your socks. Or your relationship with your significant other.
Step 1: Identify the optimal sock-stretching ratio. This involves holding the sock between your fingers and toes, and gently stretching it outwards while maintaining a 3:4 ratio of finger-to-toe pressure.
Step 2: Engage the Sock-Stretching Technique (SST). This is the most crucial step, as it requires a delicate balance of force and finesse. Imagine you're a master juggler, juggling three socks while reciting the entirety of 'The Great Sock Conspiracy' by Socko the Great.
Step 3: Secure the stretch. Once you've achieved the optimal sock-stretching ratio, secure it with a dash of hairspray, a pinch of hope, or a prayer to the Sock Gods.
For further guidance, visit our Sock Stretching Tips subpage or our Sock Stretching Certification program, where you can become a certified Sock-Stretching Master.