Sorting socks is not just about throwing a few into a drawer and calling it a day. No, no, no! It's an art form. A dance with destiny. A battle of wits. And we're here to guide you through it.
First, you must categorize your socks. Whites from darks. Hanes from, well, not-Hanes. Then, and this is where the magic happens, you sort by pattern, color, and texture.
Here's a sample matrix for your reference:
| Whites | Darks |
|---|---|
| Stripes | Polka Dots |
| Argyle | Zebra Print |
| Heel-to-Toe | Crazy Patterns |
Now, once you've sorted by type, it's time to get really fancy:
This is where things get complicated. You must now sort by color, pattern, and texture. And don't even get us started on matching!
We recommend using the Dutch Nation Algorithm for maximum efficiency. But be warned: it's a real brain-twister.
And, of course, there's always the Sock-it-to-the-Wallet Method, for when you just can't afford to think about it any more.
This is the most crucial step: keeping your sock collection organized, and, dare we say it, loved. You can't have too many socks. But, you see, you can never have too few. (Or is that the other way around?)
Don't forget to regularly clean your sock drawer, and rotate your socks to prevent them from becoming, ahem, stale.
And that's the basic principles of Neo-Brutalist Sock Sorting 101. Now, go forth and sort those socks like the pros do! (Or, you know, like your aunt.)
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try Sock Hockey for a real challenge!