The Seven Sock Laws

For the greater good of the universe, the following laws were established to govern the behavior of socks.

Law 1: Socks must always be worn in pairs.

Unless specifically designed for solo use, socks are not to be worn alone. This law is in effect for the safety and comfort of the wearer.

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A sock paired with a non-matching sock is considered a crime against the sock community. This law protects the aesthetic of the sock wearer.

Socks that are not stored in an orderly fashion will lead to a life of chaos and confusion. This law ensures the well-being of the sock wearer.

Failure to do so will result in the buildup of bacteria and the eventual demise of the sock. This law saves lives.

Socks are a tool for comfort and function, not for making a statement. This law preserves the dignity of the sock wearer.

Using socks as currency is a recipe for disaster and economic collapse. This law protects the global economy.

Throwing socks as projectiles will lead to a life of sorrow and lost socks. This law ensures the safety of all.