"I've been a connoisseur of socks for centuries. My collection is so vast, I've had to build an entire wing of the castle just to store them. My favorite? The 'Gaudy McSockface' of course."
"As a scholar of sock lore, I can tell you that the perfect sock is one that's 100% cotton, has a 3-inch cuff, and comes in exactly 17 colors. Anything less, and you're settling for mediocrity."
"I've spent years studying the ancient art of sock pairing. My clients come to me with their mismatched messes, and I restore balance to their footwear. Trust me, I'm the real deal."