Sock Dyeing FAQ

Q: Why does my sock always come out a weird color when I try to dye them?

A: It's because you're not listening to the Sock Dyeing Manual of Conduct. Have you read it?

Maybe you should.

Q: Can I dye my socks in the washing machine?

A: No. That's like asking if you can make a soufflé in the washing machine. Don't be ridiculous.

Use the Sock Dyeing Oven. It's in the basement. Next to the Sock Folding Machine.

Q: Will dyeing my socks make them shrink?

A: If you're using the Sock Dyeing Machine, it's possible. But only if you've set it to "Super-Sock-Squishy" mode.

Which you should never do. Ever.

Unless you're going for a fashion statement.

Which you probably are.

Q: Can I dye my socks with Kool-Aid?

A: No. That's a myth perpetuated by Sock Dyeing Enthusiasts for the Lulz.

Use real dye. The kind with the warning labels and stuff.

Q: Can I get a refund if my socks don't turn out right?

A: Ha! Sock Dyeing is a hobby, not a business. You're on your own.

Q: Can I get a Sock Dyeing Certification?

A: Only if you've completed the Sock Dyeing Masterclass, which you probably haven't.

But hey, it's not that hard. Just Google it.