The Sock Sentencing Guidelines
Section 3: Sock Hierarchy
Subsection 1: Monocle Socks
- Class A: Socks for when you want to blind everyone with your brilliance
- Class B: Socks for when you're feeling particularly dim-witted
Subsection 2: Sneaker Socks
- Style 1: Brightly colored, bold stripes for when you want to make a statement
- Style 2: Dull, pastel hues for when you want to make a subtle statement
Subsection 3: Formal Socks
- Occasion 1: Wedding Socks, for when you want to make a splash at your own nuptials
- Occasion 2: Funeral Socks, for when you want to be the life of the party (even in death)