The Sock Sentencing Guidelines

Section 3: Sock Hierarchy

• Monocle Socks
• Sneaker Socks
• Formal Socks

Subsection 1: Monocle Socks

• Class A: Socks for when you want to blind everyone with your brilliance
• Class B: Socks for when you're feeling particularly dim-witted

Subsection 2: Sneaker Socks

• Style 1: Brightly colored, bold stripes for when you want to make a statement
• Style 2: Dull, pastel hues for when you want to make a subtle statement

Subsection 3: Formal Socks

• Occasion 1: Wedding Socks, for when you want to make a splash at your own nuptials
• Occasion 2: Funeral Socks, for when you want to be the life of the party (even in death)