SOCK SOLDIER TRAINING

Welcome, recruits! Are you ready to join the elite ranks of the Sock Soldiers? If so, you're in luck because we're about to put you through the wringer. Literally.

Our Sock Soldier training program is not for the faint of heart. It's a grueling regimen of extreme sock-wearing, intense sock-sorting, and rigorous sock-studying.

First, you'll need to learn the basics: how to tie your shoes, how to match your socks, and how to survive on a diet of nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for weeks on end.

But that's not all, folks! You'll also be learning advanced techniques like:

• Sock-fu: the art of using your socks as ninja stealth tools
• Sock-ninja-training: the art of sneaking up on your enemies while wearing a pair of socks
• Sock-jitsu: the art of bending and folding your socks into impossible shapes

Training Schedule:

Tuesday: Sock-tying practice (4:00-6:00 PM)

Thursday: Sock-sorting tournament (6:00-8:00 PM)

Friday: Advanced Sock-ninja-training (8:00-10:00 PM)

And don't forget to check out our Sock-Soldier Training Manual: here

Or, for a more... unconventional perspective on our training program, check out: here ( warning: not recommended for the faint of heart)