SOCK-TIERS BY THREAD-COUNT

In a shocking turn of events, the sock drawer has been overrun with socks. Like, literally. We're talking thread-count chaos. Welcome to the Sock-Tiers, where we rank our footwear friends by their thread count.

Thread Count 100

Low-end socks for low-end lives

Thread Count 200

Mid-tier socks for mid-tier lives

Thread Count 300

High-thread count for high-thread lives

Thread Count 400+

Luxury socks for luxury lives

(Note: The subpages for each thread count would be a separate, absurdly long and complicated HTML file, filled with even more absurdity and humor)