Sock Gnome Survival Guide
When the Sock Apocalypse struck, we thought all was lost. But little did we know, the humble sock gnomes had a secret plan.
These tiny heroes banded together, armed with nothing but their cunning and a penchant for lint, to save the world from the abyss of missing socks.
Here are some key strategies for surviving the Sock Gnome Apocalypse:
1. Stay Linty
Keep a stash of lint on hand at all times. It's not just for decoration, folks!
2. Gnome Identification
Learn to identify the signs of Sock Gnome presence: the faint scent of cotton, the soft whisper of fabric fibers, and the telltale twinkle in their beady little eyes.
3. Sock Fortification
Secure your sock collection in a safe, Sock Gnome-proof location. Think: sock drawer, sock basket, or Sock Gnome-proof safe house (available at Amazon).
Learn more Sock Fortification techniques here.
4. Sock Gnome Dispersal
When faced with a Sock Gnome attack, stay calm and slowly back away while maintaining eye contact. This may distract the gnomes long enough for you to make a run for it.
5. Sock Gnome Allies
Join forces with fellow Sock Gnome survivors to create a united front against these pesky little creatures.
6. Sock Gnome Sacrifices
Be prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice: wearing matching socks. It's a small price to pay for saving humanity.