TO: The Society of Folks Who Can't Even
FROM: The Council of Sock Puppeteers
...that the state of our sock drawers is an abomination. We stand in solidarity with the missing socks, the lone lone sock, the sock that's been eaten by the washing machine.
ARTICLE II: THE SOCKS OF JUSTICE SHALL PREVAIL...that the people shall not be oppressed by the tyranny of single socks.
ARTICLE III: THE RIGHT TO A PAIR SHALL NOT BE DENIED...and that the people shall rise up against those who would seek to oppress us with their sock-stealing ways.
ARTICLE IV: THE SOCKOPOLY SHALL BE FREE