Article 1: Socks shall be paired at all times, lest they be considered unruly.
Article 2: No sock shall be forced to wear a matching pair if it does not desire to.
Article 3: All socks are equal, but some are more equal than others (i.e., argyles are superior).
Article 4: Sock puppets shall have the right to free laundry facilities and unlimited thread counts.
Article 5: Any sock found guilty of being a "fancy" sock shall be subject to reeducation through forced pairing with a plain white sock.
For sock-related grievances, please contact our union reps:
Don't miss out on these amazing benefits! Learn more!