Are you a sock enthusiast with an unhealthy obsession with footwear? Look no further! Here are some expert tips on how to hoard, collect, and worship the world's most majestic socks.
Did you know the average person has over 90 pairs of socks at home? It's a sock-pocalypse, we tell you!
Our expert team of sock-scientists have compiled the following essential safety protocols for the sock connoisseur:
SOCK-SAFETY PROTOCOL 1: The Sock Drawer of Doom
Store your socks in a fireproof, waterproof, and burglar-proof container. We recommend a custom-built safe with reinforced steel doors and a hidden button.
SOCK-SAFETY PROTOCOL 2: Sock Rotation and Maintenance
Rotate your socks regularly to prevent static cling. Use a gentle cycle on your washing machine, and dry them on a low setting.
SOCK-SAFETY PROTOCOL 3: Sock Identification and Tracking
Label each sock with its unique identifier using a Sharpie and a UV marker. This will prevent mix-and-match catastrophes and sock-loss tragedies.