Here's the deal, human. You're probably here for the socks. Specifically, the Socks of Justification. These aren't just any socks, no sir. They're imbued with the essence of Socky Logic, allowing you to justify your existence to anyone who asks. It's like, scientifically proven to be effective.
Don't worry, these aren't just empty justifications. They're backed up by Irrefutable Logic, a field of study pioneered by the greatest mind the world has ever known: The Great Justifier.
Well, that's a Justification Syndrome diagnosis. Don't worry, we have Justification Surgery available. It's 100% effective, 100% safe, and only 50% likely to drive you to an existential crisis.