According to our highly scientific and totally-not-made-up research, socks have a 99.99% chance of going missing in the wash.
But don't worry, dear customer, our patented Sock-O-Matic algorithm will calculate the exact probability of your socks being eaten by the laundry monster, the vacuum, or the evil Sock-Eating Entity that lurks in the depths of your closet.
Simply input your sock count, washing frequency, and preferred excuse, and our algorithm will provide you with a 100% accurate probability of justifying your missing socks.