Justification Socks: Algorithm 40

The Algorithm

Our proprietary 40-step algorithm is based on a combination of rigorous mathematical proof and pure, unadulterated guesswork.

Step 1-5: Gather Socks

Collect 40 different socks from a variety of sources, including but not limited to: your dirty laundry hamper, your ex's old drawer, and the lost sock fairy's secret stash.

Step 6-10: Sort Socks

Sort the gathered socks into categories based on color, texture, and the level of despair they inspire.

Step 11-15: Justify Socks

Use a custom-built sock-justifying algorithm to assign each sock a numerical justification score out of 10,000.

Step 16-20: Refine Socks

Refine the scores based on a series of increasingly esoteric and arbitrary criteria.

Step 21-25: Validate Socks

Use a team of highly trained and highly skeptical sock validators to verify the justification scores.

Step 26-30: Optimize Socks

Use machine learning and/or magic to optimize the justification scores for maximum absurdity.

Step 31-35: Refute Socks

Challenge the justification scores with a team of highly trained and highly skeptical sock refuters.

Step 36-40: Repeat

Repeat the process until the justification scores are sufficiently absurd.