Predestination Paradox Solutions: A Guide to Unmaking the Unmakeable

Warning: The following solutions are highly experimental and may cause unintended consequences, including but not limited to: temporal rifts, paradoxical loops, or spontaneous combustion.

Predestination Paradox Solutions offers the following services:

• Paradox Resolution - Our team of experts will help you resolve the paradox you've created, no matter how complex or absurd it may be.
• Time Traveler's Support Group - Join our group of fellow time travelers and share your experiences, no matter how traumatic or hilarious.
• Paranoid Avoidance Techniques - Our experts will teach you how to avoid any impending doom or disaster, even if it's already been foreseen.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:

• Create Your Own Predestinational Singularity - Our expert team will guide you through the process of creating your own personal temporal singularity, because who needs a functional reality, anyway?

We're not responsible for any resulting paradoxes or temporal anomalies. Use at your own risk.

Visit our Paradoxical Legal Department for more information on liability and disclaimers.

Or, if you're feeling particularly mischievous:

• Order a Predestinational Pizza - Our expert chefs will craft a pizza that's been predestined to taste like the apocalypse.