Welcome to the Sonic Speed Dampening Field, where the very fabric of reality is tweaked to make you go slower. Like, really slower.
It's not just a speed bump, it's a Sonic Slow Down Squad in action!
Our patented technology uses the principles of Quantum Flubber to dampen your speed, making you feel like you're stuck in a chrono-slow-mo!
Side effects may include: feeling like you're stuck in a time loop, questioning your life choices, and an intense desire to play Sonic Slow Jam on repeat.
Please note that excessive use of this field may result in:
Proceed with caution, or don't.
Sonic Safety Net available for those who just can't resist the allure of the Sonic Speed Dampening Field.