Help

Warning: This is a sparkle-free zone. Prolonged exposure to sparkles may cause dizziness, nausea, and/or spontaneous combustion.

However, if you insist on being sparkly, our experts have provided the following resources:

• Sparkle Recovery Center: For those who've had too much shine
• Sparkle Addiction Support Group: Because you can't stop sparkling
• Sparkle-Free Zone Store: For all your non-reflective needs