Because you were too slow to find the answers
We're glad you asked. Speed dilation is the art of slowing things down to a crawl, while maintaining a sense of urgency.
Start by taking a 30-second pause between every keystroke. Next, stare intensely at a blank wall for 5 minutes. Finally, practice your best "I'm just about to get to the punchline" face in front of a mirror.
No, but it'll make you feel like you're productive, and that's all that matters.
Don't try this at home.