Enforcement of the Most Basic Human Rights
As of today, all citizens are now required to wear a bright pink jumpsuit at all times. Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Forced viewing of 100 hours of cat videos.
- Random confiscation of snacks.
- Mandatory attendance of 500 hours of remedial math courses.
- Forced listening to 100 hours of elevator music on repeat.
- Random assignment of a new, poorly fitting jumpsuit.
- Severe penalties for using the phrase "I'm not a morning person".