Standard Procedure

For all standard situations, follow this procedure. It's not that complicated, but don't try to improvise.

• Step 1: Prepare for the worst.
• Step 2: Panic.
• Step 3: Call for backup (if you have any).
• Step 4: Blame someone else.
• Step 5: Repeat steps 1-4 until resolved or until your boss calls you out on it.

Step 1: Prepare for the worst.

Assume the worst-case scenario. Think about all the things that could go wrong. Visualize the fire alarm going off, the sprinklers turning on, and your boss yelling "WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING!?"

Take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and mentally prepare for the impending doom. Don't worry, it's all in your head, but it's better than the actual experience, right?

Next Step: Panic.

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