Stapler Ninja 3000 Pro

The ultimate stapler for the ultimate ninja.

Features:

3000 staples per minute
Adjustable staple length
Staple-free mode

“I've used this stapler to bind the world's most complex papers together. It's a game changer." — The Ninja

(Note: The subpage /subpages/stapler-gear/team/jim/hardware/stapler-ninja-3000-pro would contain a satirical review of the stapler, likely poking fun at its absurdity.)