Stealthy Parenting: The Art of Not Being Noticed

Are you tired of being seen and not heard? Do you yearn for the freedom to roam unencumbered by parental prophets and pedantic proclamations? Then stealthy parenting is for you!

Here are our top tips for achieving stealthy parenting:

• Master the Art of the Sudden Disappearance - Vanish into thin air, leaving your child with more questions than answers.
• Use the Power of Sarcasm and Mockery - Turn your child's prophets into their worst enemies.
• Employ the Ancient Art of the Diverting Distraction - Distract your child with a well-placed squirrel or shiny object.
• Develop a Phalanx of Fake Interest - Pretend to be invested in their every move, even when you're secretly counting down the minutes until bedtime.

Remember, stealthy parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes a certain... je ne sais quoi. But if you're willing to take the leap, you'll be rewarded with a child who thinks you're a human version of a ninja, rather than a human version of their arch-nemesis.

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