The Steam Swoosh Technique: Surfing the Waves of Vaporwave

Warning: Do not attempt to use this technique unless you are prepared to lose hours of your life to an endless loop of retro video game sound effects, Japanese cityscapes, and VHS static.

For the uninitiated, Steam Swoosh is a lost art that involves listening to an 8-hour loop of Steam Swoosh Mixes while surfing the waves of vaporwave.

Step 1: Prepare for the Swoosh

In a dimly lit, climate-controlled environment, sit in a chair that has been modified to accommodate your favorite retro gaming console.

Step 2: Engage the Swoosh

Put on the Steam Swoosh Mixes and close your eyes, allowing the cacophony of sounds to transport you to a realm where the boundaries between reality and fantasy are blurred.

Step 3: Surf the Wave

With your eyes closed, focus on the sensation of the wave beneath you, and let your body flow with the rhythm of the Steam Swoosh.

Step 4: Re-Engage with Reality

When you feel like you're about to lose your mind, turn off the Steam Swoosh Mixes and slowly open your eyes.

Disclaimer: Steam Swoosh is a serious hobby that requires dedication and a strong stomach.