Welcome, everyone! Steve here, the Great and Powerful. I'm thrilled to be accepting this award for "Best Use of Sarcasm in a Presentation" tonight.
Thank you to my team for putting up with me all year. Without my witty remarks, we'd all be a bunch of robots. I mean, who needs coffee when you have sarcasm?
Special shoutout to my wife, who's been my biggest critic and greatest supporter. She's like the editor of my brain, always making sure my jokes are funny and my burns are even funnier.
I'm not sure what the future holds, but I'm sure it'll be filled with more awards, more recognition, and more opportunities to make fun of my competitors.
See more of Steve's Rejection SpeechesI'd like to thank my hairdresser, who's been working tirelessly to keep my locks looking like this all year. It's not easy being a rockstar.
I'm not sure what I'd do without my hair. It's like my crowning glory, or should I say, my crowning disaster? Okay, okay, it's both.
Thanks to all my fans out there for voting for me. You're all a bunch of hair-brains, but I love you for it.
See Steve's Rewards and Perks