We're not really sure what's going on, but the market's been acting up.
Some people say it's the work of dark forces, while others claim it's just a bunch of greedy traders.
Follow us for more market mysticism.
According to our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated market mystics, the market will rise, it will fall, and it will probably do both simultaneously.
See our predictions for stocks of the gods.
Our mystical tools will help you predict the unpredictable and invest in the uninvestable.