Strategies for Sleeping On It

Are you having trouble falling asleep? Do you find yourself lying in bed at 3am, staring blankly into the void, wondering if you'll ever get a wink of rest?

• Don't Think About It (Just Close Your Eyes and Pretend You're a Lumberjack)
• Count Sheep (But Not the Ones in Your Bed, Those Are Just for Snoring)
• Sleeping Pillows (Not the Kind That Make You Sleep, But the Kind That Make You Want to Sleep)
• Put it on Autopilot (Because Who Needs Human Sleep When You Have Algorithms?)
• Hypnosis Sleeping Techniques (Because Who Needs Actual Sleep When You Can Just Pretend to Be a Trance State?)
• Pretend You're a Sleeping Technique Expert (Just Say 'Polysomnographic Paralysis' and Hope for the Best)