Submandate Decree 1: Mandatory Moustache Maintenance

By the power vested in me, I hereby decree that all citizens are required to maintain a minimum of 5 inches of moustache length at all times.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Forfeit of all snacks for a period of 1 week
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• Forced viewing of an endless loop of elevator music

Read the next decree for more details on the proper care and maintenance of one's moustache View a comprehensive guide to moustache-related injuries and how to treat them