**URGENT BULLETIN**
As a valued subscriber to the Blergian Coffee Machine, you've been granted access to our exclusive maintenance updates. Don't worry, it's not just a bunch of corporate-speak - we actually do stuff.
Upcoming Maintenance Schedule:
Our team of highly trained Blergian engineers will be performing the following tasks:
- Replacing worn-out coffee grounds repository with new, unused ones.
- Reconfiguring the brew cycle to accommodate for more efficient caffeine extraction.
- Rebooting the system to ensure optimal flavor profiles.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Our machines will continue to function, but may experience brief periods of erratic behavior. Please report any issues to our support team, who will likely just tell you to turn it off and on again.
**Stay tuned for further updates on the software updates and hardware replacements that will surely make your life better.**