Welcome to the Subscription Splurge, where the only limit is your credit card limit!
Sign up now and get access to:
- Endless pizza delivery service
- Bi-monthly shipments of artisanal cheese
- Complimentary Netflix subscription with 1000 channels to scroll through
- Personalized, 24/7, one-on-one, existential crisis counseling
But wait, there's more! With our premium subscription service, you get:
- Bi-weekly delivery of fresh, organic, vegan, gluten-free, soy-free, nut-free, dairy-free, cruelty-free, guilt-free donuts
- Exclusive access to our private, invite-only, invite-only subreddit, where you can discuss the finer points of your subscription service
- Priority customer service, where our highly trained, highly caffeinated customer service representatives will answer your every question, 24/7
- A complimentary, hand-written letter, penned by our CEO, on high-quality, 100% recycled paper, expressing our deep and abiding appreciation for your subscription