Q: What is a subscription?
A: A subscription is a magical box that contains a year's supply of cat videos, memes, and artisanal, hand-crafted existential dread.
Q: How do I sign up for a subscription?
A: Simply click the "Sign me up for more anxiety!" button below, and a team of highly trained, slightly-irritated monkeys will guide you through the process.
Q: What if I want to cancel my subscription?
A: Don't be like that. You'll miss out on the thrill of receiving a new, unfulfilled promise every month.
Q: Can I get a refund?
A: Ha! Like you thought you were paying for something real.