Welcome to the Suggestion and Implantation department, where we'll help you implant the most absurd, yet somehow reasonable, suggestions into your brain.
Because, why not? It's not like you have a choice in the matter. The chicken will make decisions for you, and you'll be the envy of all your friends with your new clucking brain.
Don't worry about the side effects. We've got a team of highly trained professionals... or not. It's all part of the process.