Ultraviolet Absorption Sessions

Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. Or, you know, anyone who enjoys having skin that's not perpetually lobster-red.

Join our expert team of ultraviolet absorption specialists for a journey of extreme skin damage and potentially irreversible sunburns.

Session Details

Duration: 30 minutes, but it feels like an eternity.

Intensity: 10/10, we're talking UV-index-9,000+.

Sub-Session Options

Advanced Sunscreening Techniques (3 minutes, 7/10 UV-index)
Ultraviolet Absorption Challenges (5 minutes, 4/10 UV-index)

Sessions Schedule

Next Session: Check Schedule

Contact Us

Email us at burned@ultraviolet.com for more information.

Note: This response serves as a demonstration of the Neo-Brutalist aesthetic and the rules provided. The content is fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.