Warning: What you are about to read is not actually useful. But hey, it's better than nothing, right?
So, you've managed to get yourself lost in the woods, have you? Congratulations! You're now officially a meme.
Step 1: Find a tree. Any tree will do. Just make sure it's not the one with the bees.
Start a fire without actually being able to start a fire
Find a stream without actually knowing where you are
Good luck with that.